Pure Romance Between the Sheets by PATTY BRISBEN

Author:PATTY BRISBEN
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ATRIA BOOKS

Dear Patty,

I am worried about my sister. She and her husband have decided to stop having sex. They don’t have any medical reasons; they just decided to stop. I was wondering what you thought of this and if their relationship will suffer as a result. I am trying to support her decision but I am worried that this will hurt her in the long run.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Sister

Dear Concerned Sister,

Your sister is very lucky to have someone who is concerned about her happiness and well-being. From professional experience, we know there are physical and emotional ramifications for a couple experiencing a lack of intercourse. However, if a couple has made a mutual decision to stop engaging in intercourse but maintains a physically intimate relationship with massage, cuddling, holding hands, etc., as well as maintaining a healthy level of communication, the potential downsides to a relationship are greatly reduced. Physically, without regular release from intimate interaction when previously used to it, women will experience more sex dreams and men (if they are not masturbating) will experience nocturnal emissions (wet dreams).

We do know that physically, orgasms have many benefits to both men and women, including the release of endorphins, which are the body’s natural goodfeeling and pain-killing chemicals. Regular orgasms from sex also improve overall feelings of happiness and decrease feelings of depression. The release of oxytocin promotes feelings of attachment, which improves levels of commitment and boosts self-esteem.

Unfortunately, without regular sexual relations, a couple often stops touching and communicating, which leads to a breakdown in the relationship. It is really important for your sister and her husband to truly understand why they’ve chosen to stop having sex. Men and women can use sex—or lack of sex—to manipulate or punish each other, which will only erode the relationship over time. It might be beneficial for couples to seek counseling if they view the cessation of sexual intercourse as a negative issue or if they are not completely in sync with the reasons for the decision. To find a certified therapist in your area, please visit www.aasect.org.

If, however, your sister and her husband made this decision together and are happy with it, then it is your responsibility to support her! Having sex is not the only way for a couple to be intimate with each other. Maybe you can surprise her with one of our massage aids to show that you support their new dedication as a couple!

Truly,

Patty

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